Sunday, October 22, 2017

Upside-Down!

Sometimes, life can be so fucked up that you may have to work with your own inversions...to complete and complement yourself!


Wednesday, October 18, 2017

The man from the Earth!

It was a pretty tough day today...like most other days since 2012. But the day ended on a good note...

Watched the movie - "The man from the Earth"! Made for a pleasantly interesting watch!

Thursday, October 5, 2017

The dilemma of give and take!

I read this on Internet today! A simple story that has a lot to offer!

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THE ABUNDANCE PRINCIPLE:

Once a man got lost in a desert. The water in his flask had run out two days ago, and he was on his last legs. He knew that if he didn't get some water soon, he would surely die. The man saw a small hut ahead of him. He thought it would be a mirage or maybe a hallucination, but having no other option, he moved toward it. As he got closer, he realized it was quite real. So he dragged his tired body to the door with the last of his strength.

The hut was not occupied and seemed like it had been abandoned for quite some time. The man entered into it, hoping against hope that he might find water inside.

His heart skipped a beat when he saw what was in the hut - a water hand pump...... It had a pipe going down through the floor, perhaps tapping a source of water deep under-ground.

He began working the hand pump, but no water came out. He kept at it and still nothing happened. Finally he gave up from exhaustion and frustration. He threw up his hands in despair. It looked as if he was going to die after all.

Then the man noticed a bottle in one corner of the hut. It was filled with water and corked up to prevent evaporation.

He uncorked the bottle and was about to gulp down the sweet life-giving water, when he noticed a piece of paper attached to it. Handwriting on the paper read : "Use this water to start the pump. Don't forget to fill the bottle when you're done."

He had a dilemma. He could follow the instruction and pour the water into the pump, or he could ignore it and just drink the water.

What to do? If he let the water go into the pump, what assurance did he have that it would work? What if the pump malfunctioned? What if the pipe had a leak? What if the underground reservoir had long dried up?

But then... maybe the instruction was correct. Should he risk it? If it turned out to be false, he would be throwing away the last water he would ever see.

Hands trembling, he poured the water into the pump. Then he closed his eyes, said a prayer, and started working the pump.

He heard a gurgling sound, and then water came gushing out, more than he could possibly use. He luxuriated in the cool and refreshing stream. He was going to live!

After drinking his fill and feeling much better, he looked around the hut. He found a pencil and a map of the region. The map showed that he was still far away from civilization, but at least now he knew where he was and which direction to go.

He filled his flask for the journey ahead. He also filled the bottle and put the cork back in. Before leaving the hut, he added his own writing below the instruction: "Believe me, it works!"

This story is all about life. It teaches us that We must GIVE before We can RECEIVE Abundantly.

More importantly, it also teaches that FAITH plays an important role in GIVING.

The man did not know if his action would be rewarded, but he proceeded regardless.

Without knowing what to expect, he made a Leap of Faith.

Water in this story represents the Good things in Life

Give life some Water to Work with, and it will RETURN far more than you put in........!!!

Monday, September 25, 2017

Unconditional what?

There's no such thing as unconditional love. It's a myth! That it can happen with only one person (romantic relationship) or a specific set of persons (parent-children relationships for instance) is a condition in itself!

PS: I'm glad and proud to pass this wisdom to the future generations, whether or not they appreciate it in their most-needed hour of their lives!

Thursday, September 14, 2017

There's got to be a limit!

Either God is appallingly callous or you are! Either way, I'm deeply disappointed and disillusioned!

Seriously, you are making me go through this indescribable pain of "Kundalini Void" (energy void) twice? I mean, twice?  Once when I had to figure out the code, and the second time when you are trying to figure it out! I mean every time?!? Everytime when you are out of alignment, I need to suffer as a means to get you in alignment?!? But I already suffered...every time I was out of alignment!

Ridiculously insane!  God are you crazy or what! Yeah, I mean God, real "good" God! There's got to be a limit and you rather be done with it God! Hey Hello! I'm not You, I'm a human, after all! Know what, you both **** each other and get me out of this mess!

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Anthropogenic influence, merely?

In the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey, the author, a Nobel laureate argues that "preventive" collective action is needed to mitigate the impact of climate change. I believe, disasters are a way of nature balancing itself and they happen regardless of the existence of man on Earth. While there is every need to check global warming and reduce (or optimise) the anthropogenic influence for a better planet, I cannot buy this argument that disasters like these are preventable or even that they can be controlled (in an "intended" way!).

Sunday, September 10, 2017

When songs stay merely that...songs!

After my awakening process started, songs became my refuge. Especially so, since 2015, after the publishing of my book when I was not pouring my thoughts into my blog. They became a world unto themselves where I can sneak into, hide and take shelter and solace when I couldn't anymore stay in my reality. I knew I was fantasizing too much, but the happy breeze they gave me during the periods of abandonment and despair...led me to think it's ok...no harm doing it. But gradually since June-July I think that too slowly started to fade away. How long can a single illusion give happiness anyway?

Oh no, not all of them were love songs and stuff. In fact, when I actually started singing as my pastime, it started with questioning God as to why he put me in this fix? Sometimes about the ways of the world, of people...and all that...and finally love. But life first!

Now back to the June-July fade out. Singing too wasn't giving me happiness anymore. I then knew it's time to wind up now! I was expecting to hear from my twin flame. But he was nowhere in the sight. I started wondering, if I keep waiting for him, until how long will I be required to wait! Maybe till the end of this life? Everyday, I'll have to wake up with this hope and despair! I thought I was prepared for that too! I thought maybe I'd eventually get used to it and my expectation would die and I'd move on! But one day, at an important time of transition, when a new phase started in my life, I suddenly started thinking why not contact him? I felt, yeah, seriously why not? I thought about it for around two hours and finally took the plunge to contact him online. I myself was surprised about what I did just then. For years, I felt I'd never contact him.He must do that, whenever that is, I used to think. My action totally caught me unawares. But then, I knew what to talk when he responds to me. I knew what information I was looking from him.

But, I never thought that he wouldn't respond to my mail. I was not shocked anyway. I thought he'd respond eventually. And that "eventually" could be in days, months or years. And now I was not prepared to do that thing again - "wait"! So I sent another short mail saying I merely wanted to catch up with him. In truth, that was all I wanted to do. I did not want to go any beyond that! No reply even then! I think that was the first time ever when he did not respond to my communication at all. Of course, hell did not break loose at my end. But something started to happen gradually inside me. Somewhere, I guess I started losing my respect for him. Looking back, I never came out in public about my TF. That's probably because my respect for him was in tact. I felt I had no right to take this into public without knowing what his idea was about making it known to the world. But now, I don't care anymore about what he feels or believes.

I felt he was trying to play safe. If he is sure he is not going to leave his 3D life in the near future, at least he could let me know that in some way...that his life is going on well...even if that was a lie. I can then move on with my life too. And if that's true, I'd be even happy...I mean if he is really happy with his 3D life, then my obvious choice will be to move on...marry somebody, have kids, taste and cherish that motherly love at least! Though, I would never be sure if he was saying the truth or not, at least I'd know his intentions to "carry on" with his life, for the time being at least. That will suffice, I will stop seeing my future with him. And then, whatever he is planning to do for the time being, I'd ensure to do that till the end of this life. And if he is not sure about what to do with regards to leaving the 3D life (which again means he is not going to leave it in the near future), he could at least respect my intention to get in touch with him. Just do the friendly talk and be done with it. I can understand that, I'm not too foolish to not understand that.

But no! He didn't do that! And now it's my turn to respect his intention to NOT get in touch. What does that mean? He still wants to keep me in this game of guessing or what? And for how long? What am I supposed to assume is going on at his end? All that I now know is, he doesn't want to reveal anything...I mean absolutely anything about what is happening with him. And I need to take a decision about "my" life purely based on "my" state, "my" wisdom and "my" choices arising out of "my" life path. Huhh, if that "my" remained that pure, if it only remained "mine", I could have done that!

Now, I was determined to do anything to know what was going on at his end. What if he doesn't tell me things, there is internet. Internet was always there, initially I started to search there, but then it dawned upon me that I can get information directly from him. I had that trust in our friendship. But he proved me wrong and I had to get back to Internet. I knew, there were things like "truthfinder" and the like. But, I didn't want to go that far. Or may be I'd have gone that far later. But there were, Google+, Youtube, Facebook...I wanted to lay my hands first on that information which was public. So I started checking things...! And then I bumped into one of the current pics of his wife. There she was, with a pall of gloom in her eyes and maybe deep down in her soul too. She was just reflecting all the grief I was holding. All the grief, I was holding until then...until the moment I saw the pic. After that, I was a different person. I asked my youngest brother to change his Facebook password as I did not need it anymore. My search stopped there.

No, it was not a momentary gloom. Not something that appeared so in the moment of that click. It seemed chronic. Her pics belong to the happy lot before marriage. She was not the serious kind who would keep her mouth stiff for pictures. It is not just me grieving here. People are grieving out there too. What for? Why should life be this complicated? This is not a sudden revelation actually. I had an inkling that if I'm not happy here, he can't be happy there. And if he is not happy, he can't keep his wife and people around happy. It's a simple logic! But the sudden affirmation unsettled me. Nah, now I'm not one of those people who do great sacrifices wishing only well-being for the other side. I'm as selfish as any woman can get! But this sick feeling I get when I see my TF robbing happiness of a happy-go-lucky girl...that I can't explain in words. Heck, even I was deep down unhappy when I was in marriage with another person when I was NOT aware of the TF connection (Good for me!). But at least, there were some pics of momentary happiness...temporary phases of joy at least.

I could completely empathize with her grief...and maybe nobody can fathom that better than me. I was in pain without sharing my life with him and she is still in pain sharing her life with him. What's the difference? Maybe there's a lot of difference. I don't know whose pain is greater, but it is pain and chronic suffering nevertheless, at the end of the day. It's suffering that eats into life rendering the person owning that life, lifeless...like parasite preying on the dead! It doesn't matter whose pain is greater, it's slow death! Maybe, I'm being very harsh on my TF now who is in pain too...so I need to tone this down a bit and say...maybe it's not him who is robbing her of happiness, but her marriage with him. (As if both are different?)

"Man! Can you keep somebody happy at least? What is it that you are after, in this life? Do you know that for yourself at least? For God's sake, decide for once which path you are choosing in this life time! No, you can't take a middle road in love, keeping two paths beside you open and mess up all the three, including yours! No, there is no need whatsoever for three people (and their families too maybe) to lead an unhappy life forever! There IS a solution and it is in your hands!

Did you let go of me? Had you done that, you would have responded to me without any qualms as a friend, as a well-wisher! What does letting go of, mean? It is not living a double life, with this faint hope in your heart that maybe someday we will get back together! Letting go means, you are able to leave me, once for all, in this life time!

I didn't let go of you! And I know I can't let go of you, until I talk to you! Until we decide and agree with each other that we are actually letting go of each other! But now, trust me when I say - I'm ready to let go of you! Talk to me! Open your whirlpool within for once! We need not walk this life together if you are not ready for it. But let me lead a life with peace. I think there are better things to do for both of us than messing up others' lives and then grieving and mourning! I can't lead a double life with you on my mind and hoping to keep others happy. I couldn't as much push myself to let in anybody else into my life. And only you can push me to do that! Your silence won't! Your words can! I want you to do this for me! I think you owe me this help at least! I think I really want to taste other facets of life. I can't stay in stagnation like this. Maybe you are capable of leading a messy life, I'm not.

I'm not saying thousands of twin flames (including you) who married others despite TF awareness, are wrong or are capable of messing up their own lives. Maybe all of you had no other choice. But, I see a different choice here. After all this pain, I think I deserve to know your side of the journey. And I will respect your choices, be it giving up on the TF mission or going with it. If it is the former, I will marry somebody, if it is the latter, I will wait till the end. I can't take this decision on my own and I need your inputs, by all means, to choose one path on this fork. I'm tired of walking the middle road for so long! I have no clue how you did and are still doing, maybe! If you have already jumped off that fork, then why don't you do your bit to help me jump off too! And if you haven't, why don't we both do it NOW, whichever way that is, together or apart?

Yes, to me, the time is NOW. And I don't see any point prolonging it. It's all the same and perhaps worser if we prolong it! Let me know...I know you will read this some time! For once, let go of these TF dynamics...this TF template...that this is NOT the right time to talk. That maybe there is some soul growth to do! There is no soul growth whatsoever, at max there's only some soul torture beyond this point. Were 17 years not enough for the soul growth? That we are in incompatible roles or whatever! They shall remain incompatible as long as we don't fix them! Even a mother and son can talk to each other...as much as a brother and a sister...or a father and a daughter...if those are the roles played by a couple! You are taking the roles too seriously! The only way to end these roles is by talking it out, staying in those roles. I don't see any other way! Or maybe I'm totally missing the point and maybe there are other reasons. So why don't you enlighten me about them? Because, I will continue to assume the same until I'm interrupted! Maybe, I'm missing the bigger picture or maybe you are! Whoever it is...I think the power of human communication is at our disposal. It can be used rightly! It's a shame if we can't use it for our needs after coming this far...after so much evolution!

Once we are clear about our choices, the Kundalini will play accordingly. It shall not enslave us to act based on its play. The reason we played to its tune so far is, we did not have a tune of our own. You hold your key to happiness! The solution is in your hands and that is to decide! Decide NOW!"

In hindsight, I guess whatever my TF does, it happens to be a better move. Coz had he responded to my mail in the first place...All the chat that would have happened was checking the whereabouts...where in life he is now, what's happening with him yada yada...both of us would stay there...each of us not going beyond the permitted limits of friend zone and then getting back to the path of lies. Good it didn't happen...that's what I feel after clearing my heart through this post!

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Monday, August 21, 2017

Totality!


PS: Image credits - Internet.

Friday, August 18, 2017

Yoga and Happiness!

Different people interpret yoga in different ways. Here's one interesting narration - "Update your mental software" - on how two authors/yoga practitioners look at yoga!

Monday, August 14, 2017

Good time!




                                     There is no right or wrong time to start doing a good thing!

Sunday, August 13, 2017

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Illusive reality or Realistic illusion?

“You are entitled to your own opinion,
but you are not entitled to your own facts.”
— Daniel Patrick Moynihan
“We risk being the first people in history to have been
able to make their illusions so vivid, so persuasive,
so ‘realistic’ that they can live in them.”
— Daniel J. Boorstin, The Image: A Guide to
Pseudo-Events in America (1961)

Quotes picked up from here!

Sunday, August 6, 2017

Move the date!!!

Only last year, I got aware of this concept of "Earth Overshoot Day"! It fell on August 08th, last year. I totally forgot to check on which date it falls this year. I checked it just today and oops, we already crossed it! August 02nd, it was, this year!

#movethedate is a campaign to reduce the ecological footprint of humanity and move forward the date of overshoot, for a sustainable future!

Friday, July 28, 2017

The New Optimists!

According to "The New Optimists", it seems we live in the best of the times. With life made so easy and comfortable, perhaps I must agree with it. Humanity must be living in the best of its times, but the cost of that comfort is being borne big time by something other than humanity...is what I sincerely feel!

Thursday, July 27, 2017

Shift!


Then...Dear Universe...Please shift it...now!!! I'm all ready to receive it! :-)

Seeking!

"What you seek is seeking you!" as per Rumi. So, if you actually believe in it, also start believing in its inverse, "What you stop seeking, stops seeking you!" As simple as that!

-- Dedicated to all those who are in limbo and seeking closure.

Monday, July 24, 2017

Saturday, July 22, 2017

Created in the image of God!

"The God of the Bible is a God that says that the world can be based on love, that it can be based on caring–love your neighbor and love the stranger–that the world can go in that direction, that that can happen. And not because of some transcendence of all that is but because the fundamental spiritual reality of the universe is that it is pervaded with love and goodness. And if you are a realized human being or moving in that direction, then your test is to be a witness to that possibility, to be a partner with God in the healing and transformation of the world. This is what it means to say that human beings are created in the image of God: We are meant to be partners, and our task is to actualize more of the goodness and love in the universe and to recognize the world as potentially transformable."

-- Rabbi Michael Lerner, in an interview with Michael Cohen.

June Raymond, a sister of Notre Dame, explaining why she remains a Christian despite the negative and limiting things about the system, says: “It obviously is not because I love the institution. On the whole I don’t, but the rest of it as well as its shadow is part of me and in this strange mystery of Christ I find my deepest being and a way back to the truths that transform and offer meaning and hope.”

The fortune and the psychic!

If you allow it to, love can make people go crazy! Here is one such instance. I doubted the authenticity of the story, but upon further more browsing, I HAD to believe...that it happened for real!

Friday, July 14, 2017

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Anthropocentricity!

It is amazing that we should be so sensitive to suicide, homicide, and genocide and have absolutely no moral principles for dealing with biocide or geocide. Over-concerned with the well-being of the human, we feel it is better that everything is destroyed than that humans suffer to any degree.

Thomas Berry

Saturday, July 8, 2017

Stuck!

You will know it when you are!

Look outside!

I guess, we are often being given this advice of "Look within" at the current juncture when we are increasingly becoming empty within. That is the paradox of today. While change has to start from within, that change is often not sufficient for most of the real world problems today. Mind you, I'm NOT saying internal management is not needed. I'm saying, while that change IS needed, that change is often NOT sufficient.

When the problem is created due to external circumstances, managing oneself internally forever not only amounts to adapting oneself to change but sometimes also to changing oneself to fit into an inappropriate system or environment. It's not just changing, but derailing from one's ideal or optimum self.

So while I appreciate self-help advice such as these where help comes from assessing internal factors, I wonder why there is not enough focus these days on assessing the external factors. True, there might not be enough control or power to change the external environment one is in. But sometimes one needs to realize that it is NOT always possible to change oneself beyond a certain limit! The next alternative then is to shift to a different environment.

It will be wrong if the capacity of a fish is assessed based on how high it can fly or if  the capacity of a bird is assessed based on how far it can swim. Neither of them can do the other's job. They are best in their own environments. These are examples that starkly bring out the incapacity of the beings in inappropriate environments. Unfortunately, the real world scenarios are NOT this direct and we are often lost adapting ourselves to systems we NEED NOT fit into! We would rather do better elsewhere!

And it need NOT always be shifting to a different environment. Sometimes our assertiveness in NOT adapting to a system also brings the essential change in a system which remained stagnant for long, just because the actors operating within it did not care to feed it back honest responses.

I can go on and on, but I hope you are getting my point. I would have loved to depict it through a picture, but I'm absolutely in no mood to put those efforts to create one! But for the technically inclined, I can go ahead and explain it through more text in technical terms. Let's say a couple of components, say X, Y and Z are interacting faultily in a system. And let's say you are responsible for "managing" one component A. Now, let's say the owners of components X, Y and Z are complaining that component A is sending incorrect responses all the while. Would you try and fix component A to send the responses X, Y and Z "want" or would you check that maybe A is sending responses as it should, but the fault could actually be with other components' expectations? Or sometimes, the fault could be on both the sides and all the components might have to be altered.

While we might be intelligent enough to think properly when it comes to such problems in the technological world , in real world we are being forced to incline more towards "internal management" and that always might not be the complete solution. I'm sure you got my point by this time... So go ahead and look outside so that you give somebody else a chance to do their "internal management" instead of you banging your head at it, doing it alone and aloof all the time...so that you do NOT foster a system that is tough on most of the people...a system that most of the people are unhappy with! Because systemic changes are waiting!

Friday, July 7, 2017

Oh Man! Look Back!

You don't even have to turn back, just look back!



Thursday, July 6, 2017

Saturday, July 1, 2017

Thursday, June 29, 2017

Saturday, June 24, 2017

Light at the end of the tunnel!

So I wrote about two years ago - "There is no light at the end of the tunnel. It's a mirror!" So, what then do I mean by saying just the opposite now? Obviously, breaking of that mirror and shattering the illusion of the tunnel...would mean the light at the end of that seemingly never-ending tunnel.

I don't know when that mirror breaks or wait maybe I know... Generally it is felt that when the light outweighs the dark...when that theoretical 51% is reached...that is when the mirror might break. So, I don't know when that happens...it happens when it happens. But to me, light at the end of the tunnel, for this lifetime, means that I'm not waiting for a specific result and am good with whichever path is thrown open to me.

There was a point when I was waiting for PoE (Precession of Equinoxes) to happen. Then eventually it dawned upon me that it's such a big event and is dependant on the karma of humanity and earth. After all, why should I be waiting for it? When the time is ripe for it, when the Earth needs it and is able to attain it, when the karma of Humanity is fulfilled, it will happen anyway! What stake do I have in it, as a person here on Earth? Maybe my higher self has more stake in it, but I'm not bothered. This journey is all about aligning this human self with its higher self, but as long as I do not have the capacities of that higher self, I'm not bothered...I thought!

And there was a point, when I was waiting to hear from my twin flame. It's not that he should come and marry me like a knight in shining armour and end all my hardships. That he too had felt the connection, was enough for me to hear from him. Whether or not it can be taken forward, was a later thing. I could tell it to my family and my situation would make sense to them too, to certain extent and I could have escaped some embarrassing moments. But again, I eventually started realizing that had he wanted to do that, he would have done that long ago. But he didn't. Either he has never felt the connection the way I felt it, or he felt it, but is not interested to take it forward or there must be some really genuine reasons stopping him from expressing himself. Though my logical mind could think of those three possibilities, I never felt like thinking about the first two options. My mind would just blank out whenever I wanted to extrapolate those two possibilities a bit more.

Yeah, my mind would allow me to think about the third possibility. While I can roughly guess the reasons, I still felt it was unfair that he was allowing me to go through this. I totally understand that he did not open up, way back in 2012 when I just started understanding the connection. I just started awakening, after almost 12 years of he sensing the connection (that's my intuition speaking, when my awakening process first started), so it was only wise on his part to have allowed me to experience it further. But how long must that continue? It's been more than five years now. Was it not enough time for me to understand things so that awakening can be discussed? Yes things have changed with time at both the ends! And it might not always be easy to open up. But what about me? Within these biological and sociological constraints of human life, how was I to answer my family, society and most importantly my own self?

If the information I sensed through awakening was right, he had already been on this journey 12 years ahead of me. That would have been very painstaking to say the least. And I wouldn't expect twin flames to play the tit-for-tat game of "I suffered, so you too suffer!", not my twin flame atleast. Yeah, maybe a bit of it, for some time, but definitely I wouldn't see that as some long-term avenging process. I had always felt that there must be some valid reasons for my twin flame to shut down and run away from communicating with me openly.

But gradually, 'why did my twin flame do this or that?' started becoming irrelevant for me. The wait was eating me at many levels and I realized I was waiting at the cost of my own peace. This was not turning out to be healthy and I started wondering what was this Ascension turning me into. What was it making of me, of him and the rest of the twin flames? I doubted if we were we really evolving into better persons at any level, at all. The more I kept waiting, the more I hated him and myself, both. I had to definitely move on and meanwhile my parents constantly (and obviously) brought the prospect of marriage in front of me. This made things worse and honestly for a long time I was not able to figure out what is it that I wanted.

Once I told myself I was not waiting for my twin flame, I started meeting a few people (the process was happening on a low key before too, but now I too really wanted to genuinely give it a try!) as part of the same old arranged marriage setup in India. But it brought the nightmares back. I never liked anybody in a sense that I could say ok for marriage. But I wonder how many people in India really get to like the person before marriage if that was an arranged one. Again it brought me back the pain of assessing if I was still waiting for my twin flame. Honestly, I could never figure it out, to this day. Maybe, maybe not. Maybe, I haven't come across the right person. And maybe, there is never a right one if you already have a person on mind. Mostly, I used to keep quiet without taking the responsibility of saying yes or no and wait for something really wrong to happen and most of the times that approach worked. But not for long. Once, it really went bad...no point going into the details, but it so happened that I had to come to some clarity at any cost. I felt I was nowhere close to that so-called clarity yet I saw myself telling it out to the guy that I wasn't interested. I was not sure what I was doing with my life, but I never regretted any of what I did with these alliances. But I was not happy either about the way I was leading my life.

Strangely, I never had to go through the painful process of thinking too much. My mind just blanked out whenever I wanted to think, analyze, arrive at some clarity and decide. So I never decided anything and just drifted with the flow, if there was any at all!

And there was this constant surfacing up of divergence, repulsion, conflict, whatever you call it, with my family. I had already discussed this in the post - "If they could, they would!" I guess, whatever I wrote there is only one side of the coin. The other side is that, if I was evolved and matured enough I too could have averted a lot of conflict and dealt the situations amicably...in fact most of them would not even arise. Most of the conflict surfaced up when the energy field was disastrous inside me. Even after getting aware of this, the awareness did not help me in anyway. I used to helplessly stare at myself being emotionally upset and tell my family how they were hurting me and get hurt more due to the discussions thereof. I knew there was no point yet I did it all.

I slowly started realizing all this awareness and wisdom was not enough. Per se, it cannot transform into implementation and execution of things. It needs to be backed by spiritual strength, which I was lacking. I was lacking the balance. Frequency mismatch was causing all the conflict and unless I stabilized myself this was going to continue, I finally understood. I cannot expect my family to rise along with me, I had to rise alone...I came to terms with it. I cannot expect my twin flame to bring me balance. I had to work on it myself.

Time and again, I touch the disaster point and I don't regret posting things like "Chaos", "Alert" then. I don't feel like I'm making a fool out of myself. I've been suffering in nothingness and it is only natural that I keep oscillating around the 'disaster point' or the 'now point' (whichever way you want to perceive it). I keep hitting the now point, my consciousness touches it...the world around me might not be able to perceive it...the world's consciousness might not be at that point...but that wouldn't alter my reality inside...my energy and consciousness inside.

I don't know if I'm finally reaching the end of this tunnel, though it "feels" like that now. But I definitely know that the journey so far has given me the resilience needed to traverse whatever is left over. How much ever that is!

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Chaos

When there is nothing, it is a chaos. But when it is a chaos, can there be nothing?

Monday, June 19, 2017

The Rapture!!

The knot of nothing has been ruptured. The Mother has awakened from Her deep slumber. She has started flowing, burning and melting away the abyss. It has arrived and it can't be reversed....

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Future!


Killing time!

When you are unable to live, unable to die, you can go sleeping...day and night alike. A time-tested alternative, it is! I don't know, but I'm guessing it works better than drinking, drugs and other such dark habits on the list...

Friday, June 2, 2017

We're getting out!

That's what Trump said and this is what some of the US citizens had to say!


Desire

"Without a sense of urgency, desire loses its value." -- Jim Rohn.

Friday, May 19, 2017

When they finally meet!

"Dream and Destiny are two separate dimensions of life but it would be a fantastic combination when they finally meet " ..... 🌞..... Suprabhat

Somebody sent me this message today. They made my day!

Thursday, May 11, 2017

If they could, they would!

They should have dealt it all better. They should have treated you better. But if they could, they would. The problem is they can't.

For all that you have been for them in life, for the way you treated them, they should have understood you. They should have empathised with you, or at least sympathised with you (though that would do you no good)! They should have. But if they could, they would. The problem is they can't.

For the long past you share with them, they should have tried not to hurt your feelings by making inappropriate comparisons. For your journey was different from others'. They could never understand the void you are experiencing in your life, but at least they should have tried NOT to deepen that void. They should have. But if they could, they would. The problem is they can't.

In the times you needed them the most, they should have been your go-to point to hide from yourself. They shouldn't have made you feel, it is them you should run away from, first, to find some peace of mind. When all that you had to cherish, was your past, they should have not forgotten it. Instead of ridiculing your present, they should have used your past to boost you in the present. They should have. But if they could, they would. The problem is they can't.

They would never accept that they hurt you. Every time you want to explain the hurt and the grief they are causing you because of their inability to understand you, they blame you hurt them. And maybe you did. You are open to that possibility. Your awareness and your willingness to mend yourself only leads you to adjust more. They are not even ready to listen to your grief, then how can they act on it, to reduce their share in it?

All that matters to them is to defend themselves, that they did NOT cause you any grief and blame you that you caused grief in their lives. Your feelings, your grief, your pain, your agony...it all goes down the gutters. You are supposed to handle it yourself. They have nothing to do with it whether or not they have played any part in it. But you do understand the grief and hurt you are causing them. You should never discuss things with them and expect their participation to ease the tension in life. They are not game for it, you gradually understand this. So you slowly reduce the time you spend with them, you reduce the conversations with them, you try and reduce the interaction with them. You try and learn to stay alone even when you are sharing a life with them. You try your best to expect the least from them.

But after all it's a family. How much ever you try, life throws up some or the other situation that demands interaction at an emotional level with them.

Their words hurt you. The way they respond to your feelings hurt you. The way they take you and your agony easy hurts you. The way they respect their own time yet kill your time leaving you to yourself to unfold the cobwebs they too wove, hurts you. This slow death inside you, sharing a life with an incompatible family, is it any better than somebody raping you?

At least, somebody has crossed the line there. Culprits are clear. Here, there are no visible enemies. No visible abuse. Only deep wounds and scars invisible to everybody, but you. They are right in their way and you are right in your own. No point, discussing things from the stand point of right and wrong. But who will heal your decaying self? How long can you take this ordeal?

Divorcing a spouse is much easier than divorcing a family, you finally feel!


Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Fantasy!

It is ok to be in a fantasy, but it's important to know and remember that it has only been a fantasy!

On top of the world!

I said I'mma be on top of the world, didn't I? ;-)

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

How long?

Ever since, I wrote that post on funny translation of telugu lyrics, I thought I must give the serious translation a try. So let's see how it goes...

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How long will this devilish morality prevail, won't the time ask?
Won't in your heart, the fearless flame of truth blaze into an inferno? (repeat!)

Don't you assume that only woman is etched with flaws (or is the weaker gender by default)!
When she unleashes the goddess within, is there a way to stop her?

And don't you think that the sins you committed will help you sail!
The day your sins ripen, your days will be numbered!

(......... The above stanzas repeat again .........)

How long will this devilish law prevail, won't the time ask?

The mother and the sister who are part of your daily life, are women too like us, aren't they?
Why can't you perceive in us, the same goodness you perceive in them? Can't you?

Those heartless hearts that attack and ask for the flesh, just because they are thirsty,
They truly deserve to be burnt...that's justice, any sane woman would say and believe!
Further on, she will fight destiny or anything that spirals to consume her!

How long will this devilish law prevail, won't the time ask?
Won't in your heart, the fearless flame of truth blaze into an inferno?

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The one-liner gist: "No matter what the sin is, it can't sustain long, truth will eventually prevail and whatever is just will conquer!"


Optimism




Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Translation! Pure translation, that is!

I don't usually read my own blog, but I was in some mood for it today. So, I was just browsing through my blog entries from the last posted one till the point I reached this post on a Telugu song's lyrics. So the google translation very proactively prompted on my mobile if it could be of some help...translate the Telugu lyrics into English for me. I said "No" and went ahead to read the post. Something transpired in my mind and I felt why not translate it and see how it turns out. So I asked it now to help me...but it couldn't! "Oh this! For all your proactivity!" I thought. But again, a beautiful idea struck me and I converted the view to show me the web version and then asked google to offer its translation and show me its prowess! And the result?!? Breathtaking! Telugu readers! Enjoy!!!

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how long the demon will not ask for justice for a long time? Ragalada blaze from the heart of the cauldron with impunity? 
Rogue Justice asked how long a period? Ragalada blaze from the heart of the cauldron with impunity? 

Lopalanni world, women unnayanukoku! If the available energy to stop? 
Nitodunnayanukukoku sins that you are! Rojoccindante season running on you! 

Rogue Justice asked how long a period? Ragalada blaze from the heart of the cauldron with impunity? 
Rogue Justice asked how long a period? Ragalada blaze from the heart of the cauldron with impunity? 

Lopalanni world, women unnayanukoku! If the available energy to stop? 
Nitodunnayanukukoku sins that you are! Rojoccindante season running on you! 

Rogue Justice asked how long a period? Ragalada blaze from the heart of the cauldron with impunity? 

Nitoti day of the mother, sisters, and she is not adalle? Is it not? 
Vallandarilonu your eyes see nothing but the best, cullenannaya us? Or not? 

That thirst for heart attacks and give the body, cremate each viriboni nammindira virtue is! 
Sudinaina against vidhinaina anymore !!! 

Rogue Justice asked how long a period? Ragalada blaze from the heart of the cauldron with impunity?
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LOL! Was so hilarious! Especially the line "That thirst for heart attacks..."... I had to laugh my stomach out there!

Saturday, April 15, 2017

The Bertha Breakthrough!



Detailed story here!

Dreaming awake!

"To destroy the stereotypes of the usual worldview, in order to break free from the box of conditionality and to wake up in the dream, you are dreaming awake." Vadim Zealand.

Friday, April 14, 2017

Man and Science!

Science can and should take us to a place where we exclaim 'how wonderful creation is'.” Laura Smith.

"Even beyond the threat of nuclear warfare, I think, the ecological crisis is the greatest threat mankind collectively has ever faced... My hypothesis is that man is hampered in his meeting of this environmental crisis by a severe and pervasive apathy which is based largely upon feelings and attitudes of which he is unconscious." Harold Searles.


Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Saturday, April 1, 2017

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Cleanliness is next to Godliness!

Indians believe in spiritual purity and atleast superficially revere this proverb. But unfortunately India is suffering from this malaise of uncleanliness especially due to laid-back lethargic Indian mindset. It needs the so-called paradigmatic shift in Indian mindsets to actually realize 'Swacch Bharat".

Today, as I was trying to delete some stuff from my mobile and make some space for some art I was about to click, I bumped into this video. It totally slipped out of my notice when it was sent...


Monday, March 27, 2017

You turn!

I don't know why the Universe throws this U-Turn thing a number of times, so I thought I'd post it anyway. It might be of some help to somebody out there who is on the fork or crossroads!



Sunday, March 26, 2017

Lie

Perhaps, happiness is the truth, while grief and sorrow are illusions. And maybe it's all only a matter of time!

But we spend a lot of time living a lie. That's the inevitable norm for humans.

Monday, March 20, 2017

Tryst with the past!


While you enjoy this tryst with the past, take this quiz on that ever flowing thing! My score - 7/10...actually 9/10 would be a decent score for this quiz.

Monday, March 13, 2017

Redemption!

One's past can be someone else's future! Or it need not be...it's a matter of both chance and choice!




Thursday, March 9, 2017

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Adventure!



Or even the worst mistake ever! But either ways, it's going to cost "some" time!

Friday, February 24, 2017

Monday, February 20, 2017

Advertisements!

Advertisements are usually fun to watch, though the message they seem to convey, seems totally unrelated to the product they are intended to promote. This advertisement really caught my attention...it was well made.

Another ad, which I thorougly enjoyed in the recent times was this Asian Paint Ad.


Karma


LOL! Couldn't stop laughing at it, for about a minute...

Well, that word reminds me of a movie I saw a week ago. There is this Telugu movie "Karma" which I never heard of, until I saw the advertisement on TV one fine day, that it was going to be telecast the next day. Missed the movie on TV, but made up for it on internet. I usually ensure that I don't read anything about the movie before I watch it, if one of its promo/trailer/song/lyrics/dialogues (why all that? some times even name of the movie) that doesn't give away much, inspires me to watch it. Same was the case with this too. And I was pleasantly surprised. I have only one thing to say - that was a very bold attempt by Adavi Sesh, especially given that was his first movie as a director, hero and writer way back in 2010...And lo, we all...I mean the keen Telugu audience started to hear about this guy only since Baahubali I guess (that was the case with me at least...I came to know about his background...his flair for movies, his stint in US through one of his newspaper interviews). His other movie, "Kshanam" too was a pretty fine movie.

Friday, February 17, 2017

I'm a Tidsoptimist!

Yeah, I always knew that...that I am a Tidsoptimist!!! (21st word there!) Just that I got aware of this word only today.

I have this weird inkling not to be too early for anything. Like I feel, why turn up early and waste time, I could do something else in the mean time! What is weird is, I'd be ready to take the repercussions of being late, but I'd never be really interested to take the risk of being early. What is weirder is, despite knowing I'm a Tidsoptimist, I never feel that I should change and become time sensitive...rightly acting on time. I'm not just a Tidsoptimist but a little more than that...somebody who dislikes being early.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Miracles

I wonder if there is any such thing as a 'miracle'...the way we human beings refer to it...

Because I'm getting to realize that behind such miracles, there's usually some real effort and will...to make them happen.

Sunday, February 5, 2017

Reality? Really?



This is really awesome! Taking the Wikipedia's entry on Augmented Reality and applying the definitions on this video makes one naturally wonder - does AR augment the reality or diminish the reality? Does AR enhance one's current perception of reality or corrupt it?

Great video indeed! Like the climax...with AR even the destination to God cannot be real! Once you enter it, there's no escape...not at least through it (when it is offering you the exit), until there's an external intervention.

When the physical and virtual realities merge, would the product be still a reality? I'm just wondering!

Back-to-back Fire Effect!

Now, that's how I'm trying to explain you a scenario wherein a person who is "observing" another person "experience" a backfire effect, experiences that backfire effect backfire on him/her because his observation process backfired on him.

Hmm, confusing? How do I explain you that? Yeah! Take this write-up for instance. At one point, the editor, the Chief Science Officer of U.S.S PopSci, says - "We know that writing about science and tech for everyone means writing about science and tech for folks who might not always like the facts we present to them." The author also states at another point - "...how I felt about the challenge of convincing readers that facts were facts and fiction was fiction." She also quotes a psychologist - "A man with a conviction is a hard man to change. Tell him you disagree and he turns away. Show him facts or figures and he questions your sources. Appeal to logic and he fails to see your point."

But, there's another side to this! Aren't scientists too people with conviction? A conviction that whatever is validated by science is a fact!!! That is what I believe is called Scientism...What if Science backfires on them? That is the Back-to-back Fire Effect I was talking about in the beginning of the article!

Now, what is fact, what is fiction...only time will tell, not science!

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Sunday, January 22, 2017

Ghatana movie - Ennaallee raakshasa neethi? - Telugu song lyrics!

So I happened to watch this telugu movie - "Ghatana" - yesterday. After the movie, I just wanted to browse on it, but was surprised to see there is no wikipedia entry for this movie! No good site to download songs from and refer to lyrics either! Since I really liked the end credits song and wanted to practice the same, I thought I'd jot down the lyrics in my own blog. Even the song audio which is available online is slightly different from the actual song in the movie. I liked the version in the movie, so I thought if somebody is looking for lyrics, this entry might come handy!

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ఎన్నాళ్ళీ రాక్షస నీతి కాలం అడగదా ? గుండె నుండి నిర్భయ జ్యోతి జ్వాలై రగలదా ?
ఎన్నాళ్ళీ రాక్షస నీతి కాలం అడగదా ? గుండె నుండి నిర్భయ జ్యోతి జ్వాలై రగలదా ?

లోకంలో లోపాలన్నీ, స్త్రీకే ఉన్నాయనుకోకు! లోపలున్న శక్తిని తీస్తే ఆపే వీలుందా ?
నువు చేసే పాపాలన్నీ నీతోడున్నాయనుకుకోకు! పండే రోజొచ్చిందంటే మన్నే నీ మీద!

ఎన్నాళ్ళీ రాక్షస నీతి కాలం అడగదా ? గుండె నుండి నిర్భయ జ్యోతి జ్వాలై రగలదా ?
ఎన్నాళ్ళీ రాక్షస నీతి కాలం అడగదా ? గుండె నుండి నిర్భయ జ్యోతి జ్వాలై రగలదా ?

లోకంలో లోపాలన్నీ, స్త్రీకే ఉన్నాయనుకోకు! లోపలున్న శక్తిని తీస్తే ఆపే వీలుందా ?
నువు చేసే పాపాలన్నీ నీతోడున్నాయనుకుకోకు! పండే రోజొచ్చిందంటే మన్నే నీ మీద!

ఎన్నాళ్ళీ రాక్షస నీతి కాలం అడగదా ? గుండె నుండి నిర్భయ జ్యోతి జ్వాలై రగలదా ?

రోజూ నీతోటి ఉండే అమ్మా చెల్లెళ్ళు, మాలా ఆడాళ్లే కాదా ? కాదా?
వాళ్లందరిలోనూ మంచే  చూసే నీ కళ్ళు , మాలో చూళ్లేనన్నాయా ? లేదా ?

దాహం ఉందని దేహం ఇమ్మని దాడులు చేసే హృదయాన్ని , దహనం చేయుటే  ధర్మం అన్నది  నమ్మిందిర ప్రతి విరిబోణి !
ఇకపైనా విధినైనా ఎదిరించే సుడినైనా !!!

ఎన్నాళ్ళీ రాక్షస నీతి కాలం అడగదా ? గుండె నుండి నిర్భయ జ్యోతి జ్వాలై రగలదా ?






Sunday, January 15, 2017

Done!

I don't know about what rest of the people awakening in the world are undergoing, but if I have to summarise my experience for the past two years, I'd say I've been swinging between Existence and Non-existence.

All along, starting 2012, I've been trying to sail on both the boats...the world the way it is now and the world that is waiting to emerge. Of course, I had to be on the first boat - the world the way it is now -because that is where I started from. I cannot get off it until the second boat is balanced for the sail ahead. But then, I need to keep one leg on the second boat much ahead even before it is balanced, so that I can catch it when the time is ripe for it. At the same time, it is very important that I let go of that first boat, when I have to.

Now Existence and Non-Existence must not be equated with the two boats. Now these are entirely two different set of things. Swaying between these two is no fun and experiencing Non-existence while we exist in this materialistic form, in the confines of this human body is an experience beyond words. Meditation helps only at times. But sometimes it feels like a powerful beam of ionized particles gushing through the body in a sinusoidal form, its peak touching the head as if a ghost is holding the head. And when it happens continuously for four days, there's no choice but to surrender and succumb to the intensity and lay down like a corpse with no will power to do anything.

This happened many times before in these two years, but when this happened during the last four days it evoked a deeper need to take its expression. Self-worth! I finally understood I'm done with it. I'm done with the waiting for my twin flame, I finally understood this. I've been feeling this for years, but finally I am able to take the plunge. The circumstances that led to this need no elaboration here. But, I now know it's time to move on. Thanks Twin Flame for being the trigger for many lessons in my life.


Saturday, January 14, 2017

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Friday, January 6, 2017

That Generation Gap!

So there was this Digg Newsfeed - "Imagine A World Where Gen X-ers Love Millennials".

While I agree that every generation keeps complaining about its next generation, there is certainly a sudden shift between the generations on the either side of the millennium. While every generation goes ahead of its previous one in some or the other way, the current generation seems to have taken a giant leap from where its previous generation stood. If the sheer acceleration of the next generation invites a complaining trait from its predecessors, it's no wonder that the Gen-Xers tend to dislike or even hate Millennials especially in those instances where the latter made their lives complicated.

Even when it comes to the Parent-Child relationship between these two generations, while the 'love' element still remains, perhaps the Gen X-ers are proud of their Millenial children more due to their own hard work they invested on them rather than due to the accomplishments of the latter. Yeah, I know I generalised it there. But just saying...in general terms...that generation gap this one time seems to be pretty wide.

Monday, January 2, 2017

Post-truth!

Now, it seems that's the Oxford Word of 2016!

I opened 'The Hindu' after a long time*. Specifically 'Sunday Magazine' was my favourite during my Engineering days. So, I opened that. But, my head and stomach went dizzy when I saw the content all bombarding one thing - "The post-truth"! Like there were so many titles on 'truth' itself! The first article in the front page gave a lead to other articles in the inner pages! (There was a reference to 'post-truth era' in the first article!)

  • 'The year we reinvented the truth'
  • 'Truth through many tasks'
  • 'Truth in the selfie era'
  • 'You need politics to discover truth' 

Now, what on earth does that mean? Have we all realized the Truth already, at least most of us? And are we grappling with the aftermath of Truth? (Now, I don't mean there's just one big Truth out there...like TRUTH...used it that way just for the ease of it!) I, on the other hand feel most of us haven't realised the essential truths of these times and are hence leading distorted lives. So, I got curious and went ahead to know what it was all about. Just started going through the first article and the content felt really heavy. The article felt more like a show-case of author's vocabulary and his grip on big concepts. Was it because I lost touch with the paper that I started to feel that way or was the article really written in a deviant way...I don't know, but I had no mood whatsoever to go through other articles. So, I stopped with the first one abruptly! (Infact, the titles themselves were so repelling. When I saw the fourth title, I asked myself, "Really? Did I read it right? Was it 'distort' or 'discover'? Or was that sarcasm?)

If you too feel the same way going through the first write-up, don't trouble yourselves much. This sentence will more or less explain what the author means by 'post-truth' - "If Brexit signalled the post-truth era, Donald Trump’s victory was its definitive arrival."

Whatever that 'post-truth' was supposed to mean, for now, like many others before me, I'm disillusioned with the word 'truth', so I will stop here and allow you to explore further as per your interest and energy. But, if you haven't already come across this word, I'd like to take credit for introducing that to you! That was all today's post meant to do! :-)

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*I stopped reading 'The Hindu' or for that matter any sort of news since last August. Information was not interesting any more to me. It was all the same...knowing it or not knowing it didn't matter. My Dad started complaining, "Nobody reads the paper these days. It goes into the racks just the way it arrives! And nobody even cares to keep the paper in the racks at the end of the day. It just keeps piling on sofa, if I stop caring about it! I will stop the paper!" He says he is addressing that to everybody (including himself), but those statements only hit me (my brothers just ignore it as usual) and I respond - "Now Dad, for God's sake, please don't start complaining as if a kid has stopped doing her homework! I'm older than that and I will read it if I really want to read it anyway! And you are not going to stop paper even if nobody is reading it. How many times should I explain my logic? We spend a thousand easily when we go out for lunch, so why not some 250/- on newspaper for a month! Even if I gain one important piece of information a month, the cost that goes into it is justified. For instance that piece of info the other day on Nagarjunsagar being part of....."

Infact, once before that my Dad even stopped the paper. I was like how can anybody in the home be so indifferent to my words and needs. I blackmailed them - "Whichever home I reside at, will get 'The Hindu'. I'm not gonna stay here if you stop the paper. Tell me, should I leave this house so that I can realize my basic freedom to newspaper?" I then got the paper reinstated!