I don't know about what rest of the people awakening in the world are undergoing, but if I have to summarise my experience for the past two years, I'd say I've been swinging between Existence and Non-existence.
All along, starting 2012, I've been trying to sail on both the boats...the world the way it is now and the world that is waiting to emerge. Of course, I had to be on the first boat - the world the way it is now -because that is where I started from. I cannot get off it until the second boat is balanced for the sail ahead. But then, I need to keep one leg on the second boat much ahead even before it is balanced, so that I can catch it when the time is ripe for it. At the same time, it is very important that I let go of that first boat, when I have to.
Now Existence and Non-Existence must not be equated with the two boats. Now these are entirely two different set of things. Swaying between these two is no fun and experiencing Non-existence while we exist in this materialistic form, in the confines of this human body is an experience beyond words. Meditation helps only at times. But sometimes it feels like a powerful beam of ionized particles gushing through the body in a sinusoidal form, its peak touching the head as if a ghost is holding the head. And when it happens continuously for four days, there's no choice but to surrender and succumb to the intensity and lay down like a corpse with no will power to do anything.
This happened many times before in these two years, but when this happened during the last four days it evoked a deeper need to take its expression. Self-worth! I finally understood I'm done with it. I'm done with the waiting for my twin flame, I finally understood this. I've been feeling this for years, but finally I am able to take the plunge. The circumstances that led to this need no elaboration here. But, I now know it's time to move on. Thanks Twin Flame for being the trigger for many lessons in my life.
All along, starting 2012, I've been trying to sail on both the boats...the world the way it is now and the world that is waiting to emerge. Of course, I had to be on the first boat - the world the way it is now -because that is where I started from. I cannot get off it until the second boat is balanced for the sail ahead. But then, I need to keep one leg on the second boat much ahead even before it is balanced, so that I can catch it when the time is ripe for it. At the same time, it is very important that I let go of that first boat, when I have to.
Now Existence and Non-Existence must not be equated with the two boats. Now these are entirely two different set of things. Swaying between these two is no fun and experiencing Non-existence while we exist in this materialistic form, in the confines of this human body is an experience beyond words. Meditation helps only at times. But sometimes it feels like a powerful beam of ionized particles gushing through the body in a sinusoidal form, its peak touching the head as if a ghost is holding the head. And when it happens continuously for four days, there's no choice but to surrender and succumb to the intensity and lay down like a corpse with no will power to do anything.
This happened many times before in these two years, but when this happened during the last four days it evoked a deeper need to take its expression. Self-worth! I finally understood I'm done with it. I'm done with the waiting for my twin flame, I finally understood this. I've been feeling this for years, but finally I am able to take the plunge. The circumstances that led to this need no elaboration here. But, I now know it's time to move on. Thanks Twin Flame for being the trigger for many lessons in my life.
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